Are you wondering what to text her after your first date?
I understand. After all, it would be foolish to waste such an opportunity with a girl just for a single message. Especially if the date went really well.
The problem is that unless you learn how to do a proper follow-up, she might lose attraction towards you and not give you a second chance.
In this article, you won’t find the usual advice to ask girls if they liked spending time with you.
That’s what a loser that’s insecure about his own value would say.
What if there are better ways to re-engage her while also increasing your perceived value even more?
That’s what you’ll learn in this article, along with what’s outlined below.
In This Article You'll Learn
That will help you even if you always screw it up after having met girls live.
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It's one of the best days of your life. After all, you've probably just been on a date with a girl that you liked.
The problem is that now you have no idea of what to text her. For that reason, you start to feel anxious.
"Will I screw everything up?"
"Will she think I'm too needy?"
"How can I text her without looking like an idiot?"
Those are some of the questions you might be asking yourself.
That's Not a Love Story.
Text Failure after the First Date
At least, that’s what I was asking myself anytime I got home after having dated girls. However, I was always doubtful about what to say.
I remember a particular event that struck me so hard (amongst all the after-date failures) that I didn’t make the same mistake twice.
I was out with a girl I met at college in 2013 when I was studying in Rome.
She was one year older than me, yet to my surprise decided to give me a chance, maybe because I had cold approached her smoothly.
We went to take some drinks in a place nearby our college. There we got to know each other better until comfort was established.
At a certain point, we made a walk to a park nearby, where I made things more intimate by doing kino with her. I was very excited to have gone out with her, after all, she was beautiful and seemed more experienced than me.
The problem was that I was too inexperienced at the time. In fact, after bringing her home, I texted her after just 5 minutes something so needy that I feel stupid only to share this with you.
You’ll learn what newbie thing I texted her in a moment. Now it’s time for you to learn the real deal of texting girls after dates.
What to text her after your first date?
There's no straightforward answer to this question. In fact, what's best to text to a girl after the first date depends on the factors outlined below:
- How the Date Went
- Her Dating Culture
- What she wants from you
- What you want from her
- How much she likes you
1: How the Date Went
First and foremost, your first message can't be the same regardless of how the date with the girl ended up.
Let's suppose those 3 scenarios:
- She was very excited during the date
- The date went normally
- She didn't enjoy the date
For obvious reasons, you can't send the same text to each of the girls in the scenarios mentioned above. Let's see why.
1: She was very excited during the date
If that's the case you're facing, then you can be a little pushier with your texts. This means that you can inject some sexual lines after it.
Here are some you can use:
"You were very attractive today. I also liked talking to you but, please, never look at me again with those magnetic eyes, or I'll have to come closer to you the next time and do something about it."
2: The date went normally
Usually, this scenario happens when there was not much sexual tension created during the date. If that's the case, the best thing you can do is spice things up by sending her a teasing message.
If she's neutral towards your date, she will probably be neutral towards you as well. That's why sending a push & pull line will get the job done:
"Hey, I liked the way you were dressed today; however, I expected you to be funnier." This should give her good feelings from the compliment and some doubts about your expectations of her.
That contrast will usually get her out of the neutral state she was before.
3: She didn't enjoy the date
In this case, it's useless to send thanksgiving or appreciation texts; those will make her feel even more repelled towards you.
The best thing you can do in that particular case is to let her know about her about your perception.
That will make her understand you're empathetic and will make you gain value in her eyes, even if things won't go forward with her.
That's a message you can send her:
"Hey [Name], I noticed we didn't vibe out that well before. I'm not sure if you had the same impression. However it will go, it was interesting to meet you anyway."
That exit strategy will work in most cases.
2: Her Dating Culture
Another critical factor that will influence what your text should be is her culture around dating. That concerns all that encompasses her belief system and personal values.
In a few words, if she believes that getting a certain type of text after a date is wrong, then you should avoid sending her those ones.
Let's suppose she's not into romantic stuff because of how she grew up dating guys. If you send something super cheesy after having met her, she'll probably puke.
That's why you could go for something soberer like: "Hey [Name], you seem like a fun girl to have around. Maybe I'll invite you over a second time ;)"
I'm not saying that all girls are like this. You might have encountered a sweet one that likes this kind of stuff like it happened to me a couple of times. In that case, unleash the Jack that sleeps within you.
In that case, you can go on with something sweeter like:
"[Name], I think you're a charming and passionate woman. I'd like to meet you again another time :)"
This followback will make this type of girl happy.
I wish I could also know what I’m about to tell you in a moment so as to avoid the bad mistakes I was making with girls when texting them after our dates.
Let’s now go on with the third element that must be considered before texting her back.
Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.
3: What She Wants from You
That's another essential aspect to take into consideration. In fact, your girl might want many different things from you.
Random Sexual Experiences;
Become your Friend with Benefits
Become your Girlfriend
Each one of those cases will require a different strategy from your side.
1: Random Sexual Experiences
If that's all she wants from you, then you can be as direct as you want with your follow back message. After all, why playing things slow if she wants things fast? A line like this will usually get the job done.
"Hey, sexy, I think we should meet again anytime soon and so something more interesting if you know what I mean."
Then you could arrange something like dinner at her place or at your place.
2: Become Your Friend with Benefits
If that's the case, you should play things a little bit slower. However, that doesn't mean you should refrain from expressing your interest.
After all, if she wants you to be her regular sexual partner, some fire must be injected into the conversation. That's why I'd go for something like this:
"Hey [Name], you're a fun girl to hang out with, and who knows what else for. I'll probably invite you for some drinks later in the weekend."
This touch of mystery will spice things up enough for her to be more interested in meeting you again.
3: Become Your Girlfriend
Things must be taken a little bit slower in that last case as she wants something more serious with you. Even if you're not looking for a girlfriend, taking things more slowly will help you get in between her legs.
In that case, you can send a positive feedback reply with the intention of meeting her again. Send her something like this:
“Hi [Name]. You seem to really be a good fit for my style for now. Hope we can see each other again anytime soon."
4: What You Want From Her
The next variable influencing what you should text her depends on what you want from this girl.
Again, consider the 3 aspects outlined above (Sex, Friend with Benefits, Girlfriend) and act in line with one of the lines proposed depending on what you want.
You should hope that what you want from her and what she wants from you are perfectly in line. That’s when things will get very exciting.
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5: How Much She Likes You
Finally, the last variable is how much she already likes you. That’s different from the previous case considering what she wanted from you because she might want something from you but to different degrees.
That’s why you must try to perceive through your intuition at what level she’s already committed to you and, from there, do something about your answer.
As a rule of thumb, if she’s very interested in you, you can push things more sexually if she wants sex or a friendship with benefit from you. If she wants to be your girlfriend, you can push more things towards creating a connection with her.
Now it’s time for the last tips that will make your mind clearer on what she wants from you.
if she likes you, you're halfway there.
How to Understand If She Had a Good Time With You
This is one of the most fundamental elements you should consider when choosing your reply line.
In fact, if she was happy to spend some time with you on a date, things will be much easier for you as a follow-up.
This means that you should excite her during the date, as I teach in my Integral Text Game Course.
The best way to understand if she had fun during the date is by seeing how she behaves when saying hello to you in person.
Usually, a girl that had fun on a date will do one (or all) of the following things:
Tell you to meet each other again shortly;
Tell you that she had a good time with you;
Texts you soon (or within the next 12-24 hours) telling you she had a good time;
If that’s what she does, you can be really confident that you did a good job on the date and that things can now move on smoothly.
If you are in one of the 3 cases above, you can text her something like this:
“Hey [Name]. I also had a good time with you. I think we should meet again and also have an idea that you might like a lot.”
Suppose she didn’t explicitly convey to you one of the interest signals above. In that case, you could test the waters by dropping a message like this:
“Hey [Name], I enjoyed going out with you. Maybe we should do this again.”
How The Story Ended
Too Much Romance
In the end, I texted this girl, telling her about the good time I had with her. My message was something along those lines: “Hey Maria, I loved hanging out with you. You’re such a fun and attractive girl that I would have gone out with nobody but you yesterday. Hope to meet you again soon!”
I’m puking reading this now, and I think you too.
She ended up not even replying to my message. In the end, I found out that she laughed at it with her college friends. What the hell! I felt so stupid that I didn’t want to see her again.
However, that was a lesson I needed to hear; in fact, it helped me get my revenge on her through another girl.
sending her cool pictures you have will engage her better.
Bonus Tip: Send Her Your Picture
After having had a few dates and not knowing how to start conversations, this idea came into my mind.
I noticed that most of the times I went on a date, girls asked for a picture together (or I asked for it). That made me realize that if I asked about taking pictures and shot them with my phone, I could use this as an excuse to message her after the date.
When I started doing this, it worked wonders as girls began to ask me about our pictures together.
That was a subtle way to get them to text me first after our dates so that I hadn’t had to come up with lines of any sort.
Thanks, buddy. I know that’s genius, as Einstein already told me.
The best text to send a girl after a date is actually the one you don’t send. The date is all that matters, the answer is just a consequence of it.
Now you know what to text girls after dates.
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